Good Communicators Avoid Using Weasel Phrases Such As: “I Don’t Disagree With That”
I was having lunch on the patio of a casual restaurant, and between bites of my crisp salad, I overheard a man in a business suit say to his lunch mate:
“I don’t disagree with that.”
I’ve heard this phrase before, first and foremost from a lawyer, and I’ve always found it irksome, along with other weasel words and phrases.
What does “I don’t disagree with that” say?
Actually, it says nothing, at least directly. If you don’t disagree, does it mean you agree? Are you open to agreeing?
And what does this phrase replace, except a perfectly serviceable grunt such as “uh-huh”?
Are those who don’t disagree so concerned that they’ll “go on the record” for assenting to something that could haunt them later if they just let what they heard pass without comment?
Do they feel obligated to judge each and every thing that comes along?
After law school I had to make a real effort to STOP sounding like a lawyer in the interest of getting along with my consulting clients, who by the way, were seeking me out for my communication abilities.
Like a reformed “anything,” perhaps I’m acutely antagonistic about symptoms of that from which I feel I’ve extricated myself. Ex-smokers are often the most vocal about side stream smoke, and I lament the use of circumlocutions such as “I don’t disagree.”
Anyway, that couple on the patio could have been discussing dessert for all I know, one of them saying, “A piece of pie would be nice.”
Why can’t the other just fess up to wanting a slice, too?
Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. Headquartered in Glendale, California, he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.
For more information about coaching, consulting, training, books, videos and audios, please go to: http://www.customersatisfaction.com
